Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right.
Two Wrongs Don’t Make it Right
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”
Romans 12:17
I’m sure many of you have read the verse above many times. And almost certain many of you have heard the phrase above. I’ve actually used that saying many times to my kids - only to be questioned - “what does that even mean?”
There are two answers for every question - the wrong one and the right one. Some people will say that no answer is an answer. Or that there is something else in between. And there are two responses to every situation, not including the response to do nothing. You only decide what is right and wrong if you make the rules or if you have agreed to live by them. What we are going to talk about is how we respond.
As I listened to a sermon the other night it became clear to me that there is either a right or wrong way to respond to something - however most people don’t like to admit that they respond wrongly at times. I was on the side of responding improperly most of my life.
My grandmother used to use that saying - “Billy, two wrong don’t make a right”- and this was usually in response to my brother and I pushing it too far with our playing and one of us blaming the other for some sort of wrong doing. And of course, I was always right. Truthfully though, nobody likes to hear that they were wrong in how they responded to something or someone.
Nowadays it’s called retaliation. Payback. Getting even. Or plain old revenge. Whatever you call it, it’s human nature to respond to someone when you feel they have done something to you.
In dog training it’s called oppositional reflex. The dog has something in their mouth, you try to pull it out and in response or reflex, they pull away - generally harder than your pulling. Unless you teach them to let it go.
Letting go is the hardest part. Although it is biblical to correct, it should be done from the heart. All to often we are the judge of what is wrong and right - and that’s where the problem starts. More on this later.
“Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.”
1 Timothy 5:1-2
Like when I was younger, things would get out of hand with my brother and we would start to argue. This was usually done in the moment and out of anger. We didn’t separate unless we were forced to. Usually after my grandfather got involved.
Today we shouldn’t need someone to separate us. We should be able to see a situation for what it is and address it, when it needs to be addressed. The key here is when. Sometimes you will never address something - it’s just not worth the effort. Letting go, in this case, is the best option.
This brings me back to the two responses. Right and wrong. What is right or wrong to you, has to be biblical, not right or wrong to everyone else. Too many times we set our standards of right and wrong based on ourselves. One of my friends is my biggest accountability partners. He will tell me when I’m headed down the wrong path - biblically, in response to something I get tempered or rubbed wrong about. My brother does this as well. In fact my brother reminds me that God is the only judge, the only one that says what our punishment should be.
We have to make sure that the way we respond to someone is biblical and not carnal (of our flesh). It is all to easy sometimes to do what feels right in a heated moment. And just because it feels right, doesn’t make it right and certainly doesn’t mean it will please God.
This is an extremely important lesson for children. As it was for me. I needed a ton of correction - because it was always my brothers fault. All joking aside, my wife tells me stories almost daily of the kids she teaches and the discipline issues that she sees. Often times she displays more patience than Job. Something I could never do. It would be too easy to say “because I told you so” or to respond in a carnal way. She responds in such a way that is so easy to understand and definitely would be pleasing to God.
So the next time you are called to respond to something, take some time - even a day, go to God with your response, turn to the Bible, seek advice from a friend and respond biblically and with love.
You will have an opportunity to respond in a way that will be pleasing to God. Don’t respond because it pleases your flesh. And there will be times when no response is necessary.
And remember, just because someone does something wrong to you doesn’t mean your response has to match theirs. This might be your opportunity to tell them about God, even if you never say a word.
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:17-21